The Kitten Poker Drabbles
by trinfaneb
Summary: Mostly 100 word Buffy and Angel crossover drabbles with The Shield, Deadwood, Hellboy, Rounders, The Drew Carey Show, The Sopranos, and Star Trek. Detailing my peculiar obsession with kitten poker.
1. The Shield

Fitting the Profile

Summary: 100 word Angel-The Shield Crossover Drabble--Spike gets a new partner for kitten poker.

"So what do you do?" asked Detective 'Dutch' Wagenbach as he consulted his cards and raised one tabby.

"I'm an, ahem, security consultant for a law firm," said Spike. "How about you?"

"I'm a cop. Don't worry, I'm not going to bust you. I'm just researching manifestations of the deviant mind as enacted upon cats."

"Seems like you're enjoying it," Spike said as he called and laid down aces over eights.

"You might be right," Dutch said as he sadly looked at his and then Spike's cards. "The dead man's hand."

"Too right," Spike said as he raked in the kitty.


	2. The Shield

Get Out Of Jail Free Card

Summary: 100 word Angel-The Shield Crossover Drabble.

Vic Mackie and the Farmington Strike Team found their murder suspect playing poker in the backroom of a disreputable bar. They cuffed the scumbag as the other players kept their hands in the air.

"What kind of deranged person plays for kittens?" Vic asked a peroxide blond man in a black leather jacket.

"Look, we're weren't going to eat them or anything, they just make the game more interesting," the man said.

"Whatever, I think I'm going to run you in just on general principal."

"I'll be out before sunrise," Spike said. "My lawyers at Wolfram & Hart will guarantee that."


	3. Deadwood

Dead Man's Hand

Summary: 100 word BtVS Deadwood crossover Drabble -- Alternate Universe Timeline--Spike is turned before 1876

"Well played Mr. Hickok and good night," said Spike getting up from the poker table. "Dru pry yourself away from Jane and let's head over to the Gem."

"Bye Jane, watch the stars tonight-Miss Edith thinks the moon will have a message for us," said Dru as she snuggled with Spike on the way out. "I do hope we can get a bite to eat before you start in with another session of that wretched kitten poker in the backroom."

"Anything for you love."

Back at the poker table, the dealer swept up Spike's cards-aces over eights-the dead man's hand.

&&&&

The new HBO series Deadwood takes place in South Dakota during the gold rush of 1876. It features Wild Bill Hickok, Calamity Jane, and fictional characters such as the man who runs the Gem salon where lots of unsavory things take place. Hickok was holding aces and eights when he got shot on August 2, 1876 in Deadwood. Since then it has been called the dead man's hand.


	4. Hellboy

Freeze, its the ASPCA!

Summary: 100 word BtVS Hellboy Drabble--sequel to Pet Project Drabble

Hellboy burst through the backroom bar door and said, "Alright hands off those kittens, you sickos."

Spike looked up from the poker table and said, "What are you going on about Mr. Color of Tandori Chicken Man?"

"I know what your planning to do with those innocent cats."

"Honest, Mr. HellBoy, we weren't going to eat them. I've quit because of high cholesterol and Spike has a soul now and Mimi is cutting way back on the chaos demon vibe," said Clem.

"Ok, but what about the shark guy?" asked Hellboy.

"Hey I don't eat my capital," said Mr. Teeth.


	5. Rounders

Easy Marks

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Rounders movie Crossover Drabble. Its not wise to scam a demon.

New York 1998

"Good thing we could trade those kittens in for cash," Worm said. "We've almost got enough to cover my debts."

"Man I hate playing in demon clubs, they get pretty extreme if they find out you've run a hustle on them," Mike said.

"Relax there's nothing to--" Worm was saying before he saw the blond man and brunette with creepy eyes follow them out into the parking lot.

"Well they took all our kittens, so it looks like we'll have to get something else for dinner, right pet?" Spike said as he put his game face on.


	6. The Sopranos

Hidden Motives

Summary: 100 word Buffy-The Sopranos Crossover Drabble

"And stay out of Jersey you saggy freaks," Tony Soprano said as he slammed the back door of the demon dive bar and laid his shotgun on the poker table.

"Well they weren't exactly taking that much action away from us," said Christopher Moltisanti as he looked at the table stakes.

"That's not the point. I want all you to personally make sure those kittens get good homes-none of them go to the pound, you understand?" Tony said.

"Yeah T. I got it."

Tony drove home that night still oblivious to how his deep love for animals influenced his life.


	7. Star Trek TOS

A Piece of the Action

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Star Trek Crossover Drabble--Spike learns a new card game.

Fictional Character Limbo--Time Unspecified

"Look, let's just drop the bleedin' argument and play cards. I saved the bloody world and you just saved a single ship," said Spike as he looked at his poker hand.

"Yes, but I saved Earth and many other planets before the ribbon came. I raise two imaginary credits," said the other player.

"Whatever. Let's just play. Its not as good without the kittens, but it is something."

"It just so happens I know a real game of chance. Very easy to learn, called fizzbin,"  
said James T. Kirk with a twinkle in his eye.

&&&&

Reviews received before these drabbles were consolidated

Pet Project

ReviewerDateChapterType

Majin Gojira2004-04-101Signed

A most humorous drabble

trinfaneb2004-04-101Signed

Yeah when I heard Buffy was in Cleveland instead of Sunnydale in the alternate "The Wish" reality, "Mimi is a demon" was the first thing that popped into my head. I really haven't watched that much Drew Carey since the first two seasons so I don't have enough ideas for a full story yet, but I do plan for the Drew Crew to have a cameo or two in the big future fic I'm working on.

Mark C. 2004-04-09 1 Anonymous

I've been waiting for this ever since Giles said there was a hellmouth in Cleveland, there are definite possibilities here that go far beyond a drabble.

Review By: ravenReview Date: 2004-05-20Rating: N/A

lol-this and the other Drew drabble are brilliant. Somehow, I can see Mimi as a chaos demon-and exchanging fashion tips with Lorne.

Comments from author:

Oh man, I didn't think about the fashion tips with Lorne. Gonna have to work that into a story somehow :)

Freeze, its the ASPCA!

ReviewerDateChapterType

liliaeth2004-04-301Signed

loved that, and well, eating cats is hardly evil, now is it?

(well no more so than eating cows or chickens or...)

Review By: AshesReview Date: 2004-05-27Rating: 9 out of 10

Heh, cute. I'm writing a Buffy/Hellboy fic and it was this kind of situation that originaly inspired me to do so. Well... that and the suprising lack of Hellboy in this site. I mean, I know the movie hasn't been out fot very long but still...

I know this is just a one shot, but you shoule really expand it, it's great.

Chapter: Freeze, It's The ASPCA! (Add Comment)

Review By: CutiepieReview Date: 2004-05-20Rating: N/A

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee! That's all I can manage right now. Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. Low cholesterol diet. Hee, hee, hee. Don't eat my capital. Hee, hee, hee. Thank you for the laugh. I needed it! =]

Hidden Motives

Review By: LynZReview Date: 2004-06-07Rating: N/A

Sopranos is such a good show. I enjoy all the crazy crossovers you do. Enjoy writing!

A Piece of the Action

ReviewerDateChapterType

thorn 2004-06-01 1 Anonymous

laughsthat was solaughsfunny rite more or update it soon

MsBrooklyn2004-05-281Signed

Loved it! Saw the "fizzbin" coming, but oh, it came just at the right time.


End file.
